PAUL:	( IN STUDIO )  All day Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday of this week, 
	the populace of St. John's paraded through the BCN Building on Duckworth 
	St.  Studio J, the gigantic sound stage normally home to "Playlets", been 
	transformed into a waking room, for Sir Freeman Crotty.

	Of course, I was there, clad in my charcoal two-piece with the Nfld tartan bow-tie.

SFX:	GIGANTIC ROOM

	Sir Freeman Crotty, former Commissioner of Broadcasting in Newfoundland, 
	lies in state here, in Studio J.  Thousands of people have paid their final 
	respects to this legendary state official, and still the queue trails through 
	our building and out on to the sidewalks.  Dignitaries and ne'er do wells rub 
	shoulders in their desire to honour this man.

SFX:	STEPS

PAUL:	It's quite a sight, once you get in here.  Sir Freeman's casket is centre 
	stage, resting it seems, in a nest of microphone cables and boom stands, the 
	workings of his radio world.

	Sir Freeman was Grand Vizier of the Conkerbell Lodge ... a Grand Knight Templar ... 
	a big wheel with the Friends of India ... several times president of the Real 
	Porcelain Association, and of course, a breeder of Trans-Pennine Balinese 
	Cats, so it's quite a mix in here.  

SFX:	CUT 5 OF LATCHO DROM

	Ahhhh !  Here they come now, The Conkerbell Lodge emerging from a cloud of 
	their pungent and strangely .... affecting ... incense filling this temple 
	of the long wave.  They are lead by the Capelin Mazer with his great swaying 
	conical hat.  

SFX:	START A SLOW PHASE SHIFT ON PAUL AND THE MUSIC

	Their conkerbells mute in honour of Sir Freeman, the masked choir and band is 
	now circling the remains, swirling their burbling censers, showering Sir Freeman 
	with petals.  Dancing, swaying municipal workers, the bladders of their crampwoozers 
	pumping in their arms, the incense thicker still, the ceiling opening up, vast 
	blinding ribbons of revelation spill through ! 

Dad?

SFX:	FADE PHASE SHIFT ON PAUL AND MUSIC AS MUSIC ALSO FADES ON CONKERBELL LODGE'S EXIT

Where are we?

	They are receding now, the air clearing, whew .... Always a powerful ceremony and ... 
	here come the Real Porcelain Association in their sensible shoes and blazers.  
	Perhaps we should move on.

SFX:	CROSS

PAUL:	With me is Ari Uldmanis, BCN's Director Of Engineering Emeritus, and one 
	of Sir Freeman Crotty's longest associates.

ARI:	Thank you.

PAUL:	Ari, do you recall your first meeting with Sir Freeman ?

ARI:	Yes, Paul, I do.  It was in the old country, around this time of year, 
	during Oktoberfest.  We were having a beer ...

PAUL:	Oktoberfest?  In your native Latvia?

ARI:	Hmmmm?  Oh yes, yes !  Oktoberfest in beautiful Latvia !  The great 
	tankards of Latvian lager and ... Riga sausage, it is wonderful.  

	But Sir Freeman was a true pioneer of "public" radio, insuring the state 
	had a place in the media, controlling a population with carefully designed 
	propaganda originating with the party organization ! 

	Alas, the one-party-state fell out of favour in the late forties, but Sir 
	Freeman had already helped establish the BCN colonial service.

PAUL:	With Sir Freeman gone, you remain the last living contact with BCN's 
	first years.  We should probably do an extended interview, you and me, get it 
	all on the record.

ARI:	Yes, yes.  It would be most fulfilling.  When?

PAUL:	How's your health?

ARI:	I am vital.

PAUL:	Well, sometime.  

Ari Uldmanis, thanks for sharing with us.  

ARI:	We will not soon see his like.

PAUL:	Oh, there's Morris Jesso, host of BCN's most popular show, Interred.  
	It's a weekly programme dedicated to issues of concern to the dead and dying.  
	Morris?

MORRIS:	Hello, Paul.

PAUL:	I understand that you and your brother Horace embalmed the commissioner.

MORRIS:	Yes.  Horace still works the cold room at the family business, but I 
	hadn't donned the cotton and latex in some years.

PAUL:	Morris, you've done incredible work.  The Commissioner looks better 
	than he has in years, seeming refreshed, like he just got out of the shower.

MORRIS:	The blush of an autumn walk in his cheeks.

PAUL:	Yes.  But not pasty or oily, the make-up is very discreet.  And his expression.

MORRIS:	Yes, we wanted to achieve a look of serenity, something that would 
	befit a gentleman of Sir Freeman's standing.  A smile or grin would be very 
	disconcerting.

SFX:	COMMOTION

PAUL:	Who is that, it's not ...?

MORRIS:	Captain Lloyd Duncan. I was afraid this might happen.


PAUL:	What's the story there, Morris?

MORRIS:	Sir Freeman took Lloyd Duncan off the air, said he was frightening 
	children.  Lloyd felt betrayed.  He had been offered the part of Skipper 
	on Skipper and Company and turned it down because of the radio gig.

PAUL:	That explains his bitter forty-six-year alcoholic funk.

LLOYD:	I said I bury you, Crotty!  WHORESON!  

SFX:	MORE COMMOTION

PAUL:	Erling Biggs is stepping in to ... OUCH.  That gotta hurt.

MORRIS:	Captain Lloyd's quick with the peg leg.  I must lend assistance.

PAUL:	Watch yourself, Morris !

LLOYD:	GET AWAY FROM ME JESSO, YOU ... ARGGGHHHH.

SFX:	ELECTRIC STUN

PAUL:	Oh, look at that !  Morris has a stun gun. (RUBBING HANDS)  This 
	is shaping up to be a REAL wake.

	Ben Trovato and Ish are now dragging Lloyd Duncan off the casket 
	and from the studio.  Well, Morris, a stun gun ?

MORRIS:	This saved my life on the Southern Shore one night, Paul.  
	Emotions tend to run high at these events, there's drink ... 

PAUL:	Very stressful.

MORRIS:	You'll have to excuse me, Paul, but Knights Templar Business.

PAUL:	Of course.  Morris Jesso, host of Interred.

(IN STUDIO AGAIN) My time in 'the presence' was over.  I moved on.  
	Representatives of all the major and minor radio and television 
	broadcasters paid their last respects to Sir Freeman.  Even the 
	head of the local cable monopoly was there.  I saw Aaron Zagner 
	with the entire accounting department of VOZG All-Zagner radio, 
	and the BCN staff and management also was out in force.

	The ceremonies continued around the clock.  A memorial service for 
	Sir Freeman was held on Wednesday afternoon preceding his cremation.  
	Apparently, some of his ashes will be sprinkled over the Hindu Kush, 
	an area Sir Freeman explored as a youth, while the remainder will 
	go to the local chapter of the Knights Templar for education. 

	Sir Freeman Alderdice Crotty, dead at 87.